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2.13.23
crazy.. stalking my own Tumblr that I haven’t used in the last three years. feels. so surreal. baby so much happened you have no idea. my journal is having a blast updating you, you know so little and will learn so much. you’ll also loose a lot of people and even continue to be surprised as who stays and who goes and what new characters are introduced. Life’s crazy but honestly not all that much. I try to see it from simpler eyes. Try to take nothing personal (which is very hard!) but at the end of the day I forever know three things will ALWAYS come out: the sun, the moon, the truth. As long as I know the real version who gives a fck.
one day at a time baby
I have high expectations for people and I don’t think I should lower them to keep some of my favorite people in my life. It be friends, significant others, or family. Specifically friends today. Loosing people is part of life and I accept it. It’s still a hard pill to swallow when you don’t feel like it’s the right time. I’ve always felt like I’m the friend who tries and tries and tries because I’m not the type to give up on people, but there comes a time where you realize you’re the only one trying. Yet I keep trying. I broke my leg a month ago now and there’s only been one friend who has ever reached out and offered a ride (since I can’t drive) who’s offered to hangout who’s offered to just talk on the phone bc she knows I can’t go anywhere. I love and appreciate her with my entire heart and she knows it. It still sucks to know that’s the only one. As if I haven’t been there for everyone else, or offered help. Emotionally, physically, financially, mentally etc. Sometimes I feel like I ask for too much but then I take a step back and realize how much I’ve given to those who don’t even bother to reach out. I miss all my once upon of time friends. Even though I’m a friendless potato at times I’m genuinely happy that I don’t settle for peoples low quality of friendship. I just pray I’ll find some more that match my kind of energy. Doubtful yet hopeful.
